Trigger Warning

Ginger ale
Turkey, mustard, and mayonnaise sandwiches
Lopsided smiles
Blonde hair

Warning

I tore my family apart
I tell myself
I'm a dangerous girl
Because I'm better at Russian Roulette than 21 questions
I have stared down the barrel of a gun as the girl with brown hair stared back
She doesn't look anything like me
Maybe if I didn't look anything like me he won't be able to find me
I dye my hair red
It fades back to brown

Warning

"But how is it abuse if he never hit you?" they ask

Trigger
Trigger warning

WWE and PS4's

"No one will believe you"

Warning
I sleep with a baseball bat beside my bed and a gun in my closet, loaded

Warning
"No one will love you after they find out what you've done"

Warning

I do not know my own triggers
They are the way a stranger walks down the street
or the way my lover holds me

I tore my family apart
Because everything is a trigger
Because I'm waiting for it to stop sounding like a lie

Trigger

Because I talked to people about it

Trigger

He sat on his bed
Trigger
Until he didn't
Trigger

And I sat in my shower
with the water melting my skin away
because maybe if I sat there long enough his touch would go away
Trigger

I need someone to watch me today
to keep me away from knives
Trigger
and cars
Trigger
and men on the street who look
like knives
and cars

I don't like lying to people
but when they ask me what's wrong I still give them the less gruesome version where a bad man
hurt me

Warning

But sometimes I'd wish I'd told them that bad men can be your family
Trigger
That they can smile
Trigger
And laugh
Trigger
And swallow you whole
and you will convince yourself that
you
asked him to

Molesters

Trigger

can't be convicted

Trigger

unless the victim

Trigger

has enough evidence

but how do you give evidence when you're living in fear
Warning
that he
Trigger
will come after you
TRigger
AND HE WILL DO IT AGAIN
TRIGGER
TRIGGER
TRIGGER
TRIGGER
PAUSE...


continue

How do you give evidence
when it happened over a decade ago

How do you give evidence that he
Trigger
took your innocence
Trigger
and made it into a game of cat and mouse
his image always chasing me
every day
every night

Warning

That he will **** me
Trigger
He will **** me
HE WILL **** ME

PUT IT ON MY HEADSTONE SO THAT THEY CAN NEVER SAY THAT I DIDN'T SCREAM LOUD ENOUGH

GIVE THE PEOPLE OF THE JURY ZIPLOC BAGGIES AND TISSUES
Loaded questions
warning
filling every vein in my body with hate as ammunition
Trigger warning
****
Trigger
Tells me he knows ******* my family
Trigger
and take us all with him
Trigger
FIRE
TRIGGER
FIRE
TRIGGER
FIRE

Trigger

No warning shots

I have seen guns go off in front of my eyes
but I still cannot shake the habit of looking down gun barrels
of believing that I am gentle enough
to touch
the Trigger
without pulling