I still remember the darkness
unable to hide from it
it is a part of me now
run as far as I want
no escape
I think now, that yes, it is real
I have lost a lot of weight
pale skin
brittle bones
it is the darkness consuming me you see
it isn't just figurative
it is physical
darkness must be real when it has such a hold

I have these despair filled ideas
but I am not outwardly so
I love too
with such passion
it can consume me as well
my mind does not stem from anger and hate
but rather love and fear
the fear of love
being loved, then losing

within insanity fear makes the darkness take hold
and I sit here and ponder
will I get hurt
broken again
shattered glass
how many times can you be reglued
becoming more and more hideous
with each crack
never again to be smooth, pure and innocent
never reflecting a whole beautiful image

do not judge or blame me for my darkness, please
I cannot help it
I have tried to fight it
but now it is a part of me
so when you read this and realize how twisted I am
remember, I am just afraid is all
I cannot shake the fear