it might've been the cobbled stones that you saw that reminded you of me, or the way that she stood next to you, a proud 5'2 like me, or the way the bag full of your clothes that you'd left at my place smelled like me thanks to the perfume i sprayed in the bag, my attempt at forget-me-nots, sense of smell fading slower than our history together

it might've been the way he looked at me first that made me forget about you, five months deep in the end of our relationship still agonising about whether you were okay, whether depression ****** you into her grasp once again, whether you'd managed to get out of it alive this time, might've been the way i started travelling to learn instead of travelling to see you that helped me realise even if you weren't at the end of every flight or every train it would be okay

it's amazing how we went in opposite circles and still ended up at the bottom of it together, amazing how despite all of our history we still play it off like it was nothing, amazing how you keep throwing a ball that i keep having to not catch because my muscle memory has forgotten how to play games with you

i'll slowly tiptoe into your mind, my voice will crawl back into your ear, slither down your throat, escape from your lips, get down to your stomach, release the whole ******* zoo, stampede into your veins, supercharge your heart with 100 horse power and cause you to keep running back to me the way i knew you would

and the best part? i finally have the power to watch you do what i did so long ago, finally have the power to have someone else tiptoe through my mind and build a home there, finally have the power to stop your voice from entering my mind because i've finally stopped saying it