The way his fingers trace my hips
like nails on a chalkboard
and his wrists cuff my throat
like a collar with a return address,
the same things I fell and scraped my knees for 1095 days ago.
My palms have gravel and the sweet smell of your bedsheets engraved in them.
Everything he tells me is honest and pure when I’m not listening closely enough to distinguish the truth,
Yet I would take his lies over silence every minute of the day.
Im not a stupid woman I tell him, I am just stupid for you.
Tell me you love me one more time,
I’ll finally believe you when you tell me that you’ve changed,
Darling I’ll even plug my ears in anticipation.
Your shadow loves playing hide and seek in the most toxic parts of my body,
I carry your weight with me every single day.
Ive let go of the most tremendous parts of myself to be able to lift the attributes you crave.
I’ve been running to catch up to your speed
for so ******* long
but  
Every time I believe I’ve caught up to you, you’re taking two steps
backwards
Please slow down
my coordination is off
and I am falling so inlove with the way your teeth crack as you spoon feed me *******.
Ive hit your rock bottom all over again.