I see through that deathly daze of yours.
I see the opportunity,
The regret, the heartache, the gratefulness.
You told me that you weren't sure,
If you are happy you get another chance,
Or sorrow-filled because it isn't over.
Those words broke my heart.
So I left this whitewashed room,
Of demonic devices,
And went to my car.
I wasn't sure what I was doing,
So I sparked this cigarette,
Put it to my lips,
And let everything go.
I looked crazy, I could tell.
Punching my steering wheel,
Crying like you were in a meeting,
With the coroner.
I opened my glove box,
Saw my antidote,
And swallowed.
I dried my sorrows,
Picked up my hope,
Locked my insanity in my car,
And slapped this smile back upon my face.
I couldn't let you see me like this.
I couldn't let you see how upset I am,
Not with you, but with your decision.
You have enough on your mind.
I return back to Hope's deathbed,
Give her a smile to assure her I am fine,
And crawl into the bed next to her.
Back to reality, I sink.
Only to be stolen from sobriety.
It's easier this way.
I feel nothing.
I'm numb.
Numb as usual.
But this time, body matches soul.
And not another tear shall be shed,
For the worst is over...
And for us all,
Recovery commences.