It is a catch 22?

Than why do I always lose?
Not a 50/50,
I don't even know where I belong.

I understand what you are trying to say,
I know you can't move on.
At least now I know we aren't so equal,
I will never balance the scale.  

You blame him for being too noble?
No such thing.

I want there to be more cracks in the concrete wall.
So I can get in.
But he wins.
And I sin.
He is kin.
I want to begin.

The howling winds,
The coldest rain,
The smile on my face,
My black eyes full of pain.

Good for you two.