I nearly tore myself into a million
Billion little pieces so many times
Was on the brink of something
So destructive too many times
As I see this happening,
This thing with no one caring about
What scarring remains
I hide them quickly, carefully
Too much experience at it
But I hide it away, quieten it
For another day. Damp the pain
So when I'm alone, I can let it return
Let it shake my soul, my will power
At two in the morning, I wish
That I could just let it be for just
A moment so that I can rest for
Forever and a day. My thoughts
They strike too close, do not try
And understand. I would just like
To be given a hug, warmed over
By something as trivial as a smile
What I would not do for someone
To see me for a change but now
It hardly matters, because you
They don't see me
They never did anyway and
I would be ****** if I allowed
Myself near such people ever again
I had rather become a wallflower
Dead on my eighteenth birthday
Discovered lying in a pool of my own blood
My entire life's work burning alongside
Don't blame yourself mom, don't
Blame yourself dad, not you either brother
This was my decision. In the end, I was
Too weak and it was only the thought of you
That kept me here till today.