I keep going through your things
And I'll tell you why

First by saying- yes, I love you.
I mean it; I've meant it
Even after I said I didn't

lies
That's what we had left at the end
But once the layer of deceit was cleaved off
And the ugly truth was born
It was more than I could carry

Even still, in this unsettling love I have for you
Long after the truth has grown
To the ripe age of 18 years
And left the nest in my heart
I had built for it
-only so I could save my own sanity
sigh
...I digress:
I still feel the looming lies attempting
To play my heart strings like cords
Of the most out of tune harp

You say it's me
And only me
My foolish heart believes you
My body has already long forgiven you
Mind however; my mind has doubts
Mainly because no one would ever
Choose me
When there were obviously so many other
Her(s) to pick through

So I'll take your grain of love
And for right now
I'll choke it down between my spoonfuls
Of medicine
Salt
And soap

I'm sorry I go through your things still
It's wrong but its how I survive now
You can't be mad either because
Well, you made me this way.