June 12th
It’s been a month or so since my hiding
I’ve been talking to god a lot lately
Some are conversations asking for forgiveness
Asking whether this was all part of his plan
Asking if there’s ever a way I’ll be happy again
After all “it’s all in god’s hands!”
Clock is ticking and my patience is running
Trying to get answers
I think it should slow down
It might be running in the wrong direction

I’m stuck...

But I won’t give up
This is a fight
For my soul’s growth
Can’t abandon that!
I also can’t abandon it because it belongs to my parents
I can’t sell my soul to the devil
I can’t let them down by committing sins
I can’t let their heads face down in front of others  
I can’t!
It’s tormenting!

But...
Doesn’t that mean I have a soul?
It tormenting me?

Sorry god...
Let’s rewind
You do work in mysterious ways...
Which means, you can take something away that we love instead of giving more.
“Sometimes the Blessings are not in what he gives, but what he takes away.”

I need to think and we’ll talk again god
Thank you!