The problem with me is that sometimes I want to have my cake and eat it too.
I want to have the new and the old.
I hate change but also dream of it at night for weeks.
It makes me sick to my stomach, and sweaty and filled with an emotion I can't describe.
Why am I so quick to accept the affection of someone I just met, when I have someone waiting for me at home?
There's definitely something going on with me that I'm in love with being thought of as interesting and fresh.
So many times has this addiction over powered me.
It's not drugs or alcohol that I crave, it's attention and affection and that exciting fun feeling.
I should really ask a therapist why smoking a cigarette with someone felt so fine.