they always told me to reach for the stars
to fly high
never look down

they never once told me how much it hurts to fall
I used to enjoy life and its
little enchanted things that made it a good one
now I only see misery

I don’t appreciate flowers
I crush them with my feet
until they disappear

I dig holes in the ground and imagine what it would be like to sleep in them
buried deep underneath the soil

I would switch the weight of life to the weight of dirt

the things that suffocate me
to the small amount of air in my coffin

I don’t want to die
yet, I’m craving it like oxygen

catch me
because
I am falling