16:33/18:33 5-30-18
I
I can't let it consume my Soul,
I can't let it take over me.
I can't become my worst nightmare,
So I fight even though I don't want to.

I am scared that I will become useless.
I am Haunted by the scenes of the past.
Will this even last? I am scared because
I feel their pain. Their pain has become my own.

Every cut they make, every drop they bleed,
Feeling like the blade is the only one who understands them,
I feel it. I feel the scars in their hearts, the ones that bleed at night.
I know why they do it. I wish I could too, so I wouldn't bear this pain

Alone. I hear their cries of I am unwanted, I am unneeded,
I am unloved.  I feel them to the depths of my Soul
And I wish I could take their pain away, wish I could
Show them their Darkness will fade into Day.


II
I know the whispers,
I've noticed the stares.
When I looked back,
Pretended I wasn't there.

I know what it's like to feel invisible
Without having super powers.
I know what's it like to be unnoticed
By your own family,
To feel like no one cares.

But I do.

I am Loyal. I will never give up on you.
I am weak, yet I am called strong.
I am Loved by so many, but why don't we
Share the Love? So many people need it...

If only more people cared,
I know what it's like to feel like
The outcast, because even among outcasts,
I was an outcast.

I never found anywhere to belong, no place
To truly call mine. You see, even in the Gay community,
I don't quite fit in either. I am unique.

I wish I could pick up a blade and let it sing its
Sweet symphonies to me. Wish I could visualize the
Pain I feel. But I can't. I am too weak. I would never be
Able to handle the pain I feel inside tattooed all over my body.

These tears fall because I remember the forgotten,
Those who gave up a long time ago. Why? Why do we choose
Sides? Why do we wage wars? I don't understand....

Pain my old friend, I welcome you with a warm embrace.