oh the things i would do to feel alive.
staying up for as long as many cups of coffee would let me.
talking to people on other sides of the world,
or on different sides of the street.
hugging you under the moonlight,
talking about god knows what and feeling like in That moment,
we were all that's ever happened,
that's ever existed.
sleeping pills,
so many bottles made me feel euphoric and numb.
music played so loud in my ears that
they rung after pulling out their lifeline.
oh the things i would do to survive.
glasses of lemon water for dinner.
no, dad i'm not hungry but maybe later.
i wouldn't sleep until i could feel the lemon water coming back up every time i rose from a sit up.
oh the things i would do to,
to die.
because that's what all of this was going to end to right?
one way or another?