If you stare at your wall
for long enough
Shapes morph
Upon the emptiness
before your very eyes

I found this was the case as
yet again
I am lying here
staring at my bedroom wall
Seeing your face

It’s 3 am
And I find myself missing you
I will never understand
How you webbed yourself
in the corner of my heart

Tears dancing across
from eyes to pillow
The sound of my own pain
Muffled faintly by my hand
Stomach cramping from control

You are gone
There’s no changing that
But for once
I wish you knew the pain
you caused

I lie here
Thinking of you – of us
But I know
That I am, again,
The girl you never knew

You will never care
As I once did
Because that would require
Putting others
before yourself

You always knew
The exact right words to say
To make sure everyone knew
That the thing that mattered the most
Was yourself

There was fire
That roared
Between our souls
But living fire
Begets cold, impotent ash

I need to forget you
But your web
Is tangled
through the strings of my heart
And the depths of my thoughts

The fire you started
Is no longer contained
But is destroying
The forest
That is my mind

I have one wish.
I wish
To forget
What we once were
Erase it from history

You played me
From the start
The foundation of us
Was built
On a foundation of deceit

And was washed away
By the powerful river
Of truth
Knocking me from
Our haven

But instead
Into the world of reality
Where I saw you
For who you
Truly were

If I could forget you
This fire
That is burning my mind
Would be gone
No trace of destruction

The world outside
The false haven you built
Is dark and cold
And no light
Lives here

I now know the agony
That you leave behind
But my heart forever craves
The warmth
Of our fire