Every day is more or less the same.
Walking aimlessly
No one to talk to
No one to lean on.

Monday. Alone, trapped with my thoughts
Thinking about whether I’m being looked at or not.
Are they watching me eat? Are they watching me walk?
I can’t do anything like this. Might as well smile at everyone.

Tuesday. Worrying *****.
Have to think ahead during every conversation. Every action.
Have to think of what to say before saying it, unlike most people.
I’m tired of it. Tired of guessing. More smiles.

Wednesday. My one friend asks if I have plans.
I say yeah, I plan on playing games.
But instead I’m lamenting over past mistakes.
Things that happened months, or even years ago.

Thursday. Hide the pain.
Smile at everyone you see.
When I get home, I cry to myself in silence.
I can’t handle this. I’m gonna break.

Friday. That one day everyone looks forward to.
But now, it feels like every other day.
What’s the point of the weekend when it goes by in a flash?
Might as well just do nothing, as always.

Why am I like this?
I dunno. It’s kinda stupid, isn’t it?
After all, someone close to me did say what I worry over is stupid.
I wonder, am I really that stupid?

Monday arrives again.
I don’t wanna get out of bed.
After two hours, I manage to dress.
And I put on another false smile.

I wish could feel something.
Wish I could stop feeling like I’m nothing.
I wanna be happy, like everyone else.
But faking it just isn’t the same.