should i be selfish or should i not?
i want to stay as someone whom you knew i was.
the someone who understands you in every way.
i want to stay as the someone whom you already opened up to just on the first day we met.
i want to stay as someone whom you could trust and depend on, even though i cannot depend on myself.

i want to be understanding, i really do.
but i don't even know who is speaking to me anymore. is it the angel or the devil?
this voice keeps telling me to be selfish. my greed is swallowing me whole and i don't know how to fight it.
it keeps telling me that:

i want to be someone more than understanding to you.
i want to be someone to tell you good nights and sweet dreams.
i want to be someone who hugs you every time you feel the world's closing up on you.
i want to be someone whom you'll let kiss your scars and all your expressions of art.

i want to be someone whom you'll let to have you just the way you are.
i want to be someone closer to you than anyone else.
i want to be someone who sees you during your lows so I can bring you back up to your highs.
i want to be someone who showers you all the love and care you deserve because **** it you deserve eveything good in this world.

i want to be someone who will always be there by your side during the days you feel lonely and when you feel like darkness is swallowing you whole.
i want to be someone who's like a glue to you that will let you put together the broken pieces of who you once were.
i want to be someone you'll hurt because I know you are worth hurting myself for.
i want to be someone who'll cry over you because i know you are worth every drop of my tears.

i want to be someone who tells you you are enough. you are even more than enough, with all your scars and everything you hate about yourself, you. are. enough.
i want to be someone who makes you realize that you, for ****'s sake my dear you you you, of all people in this world, deserve to be happy in this cruel life we live in and that you can be loved with all your scars and painful moments.
i want to be someone whom you'll let love you through each time that passes.
i want to be your everything.

but for ****'s sake that is too arrogant and selfish of me.
my heart is telling me that if i let you go, you will be the best thing i never had.
and yet, my conscience is telling me i'll just end up breaking you even more than you already are that's why i have to let you go.

so tell me, should i be understanding or should i be selfish?