Exasperated.
Feelings that have been exacerbated;
Grinding each other, tectonic plates
Shaking the world itself,
Sliding past each other like bolts in gates.
Despair weaves its cobwebs around me,
My hunched figure is immobile.
Paralysed, my throat is sore and vile
Unable to speak
Unable to give you
The stability you seek.

If only I could stand
Shake off the silky threads
Reach out across this vast expanse
Of failed attempts and regrets
Of poor judgement,
Of ignoring things that were incumbent.
If only
I could reach out
Make you see through my eyes
Feel beneath my skin
I would be able to show you
That it wasn’t a mistake to let me in.

You would feel
This anger I have, hard as steel
This growling, hungry lion
This snarling shade of Orion.
You would feel how I am a volatile substance
How a trail of corroded bonds lies on my conscience
How heavy my heart feels
How badly it mends and eventually heals.
A crooked, misshaped *****
Sometimes functional and happy
Sometimes made of stone, cast under the eye of a Gorgon.

Forgive me
I have tried
Within me, it seems something has withered and died.
Maybe I will get to see you
One day, after the clock’s heavy hands do slide
After experience teaches me more
After I find peace within myself,
After my heart stops being sore.
Maybe,
I will be able to serenade and thrill your soul
Maybe,
We will share ourselves again,
Make building our life together our goal.
Or
This frozen world
I shall wander alone,
Of this pain and suffering
I shall forge an iron throne
And be the ruler of myself.
Be wary
Of a king whose subjects are his own reflections;
For every decision shall be the consequence of a war of thoughts.