I don't know whether I'm happy or sad about what we've been through,
The moments we shared ,
Sometimes they sneak in and take comfort in the crevices of my brain,
It hurts.

But I can't decide whether its a happy or sad pain,
The kind that evokes a chuckle or the kind that could drive me to tears.

I do not wish for change ,
I don't wish we had continued on our little path to 'happiness',
You always told me you did ,
Those late nights when you would tell me everything,
The nights that your confessions made me cry purely because I had longed to hear those words,
The nights that birthed this unruly , unnatural pain.

It hurts in a way I can't describe ,
But I can feel it like a weight on my chest every so often ,
Checking in to see if I've forgotten.