the words that fall from their tired mouth,
comforting another breakdown.
i can see the frustration fill their face when i tell them i feel like i can't breathe,
when i tell them that it feels like the room we're in is collapsing and how it's all a metaphor for my world.
eventually i have to stop telling them when things get bad,
even though they told me to always come to them when it got bad.
they don't mean it,
they all have good hearts but the sentence
"i'm here if you ever need me."
is a lie.
they don't want to hear the series of events leading up to this point.
who am i to tell them what suffocates me when i can't sleep at night?
i can hear their laughs when i cover my sobs with my hands.
they don't mean it when they say they're here for me.
i can hear the way they sigh silently then so loud that i stop crying and my heart and soul fills with guilt.

they don't mean it when they say they'll be here when i get bad again.