I lie awake having conversations in my head that will never happen
Weeks of practice - winning the most absurd arguments
About how much better old cartoons are compared to new ones
About what I would say if I was ever in a rap battle
About why I care about you so much
About when I will next make you laugh
About how I can't say any of this

You asked about my past, asking about the 'real me'
Beyond the security blanket called humor I drape myself in
And I wanted so badly to tell you my story
I'd practiced every tangent it could have taken
We stood, however briefly, before the abyss of admission
It dared me to leap and I laughed

For it was, of all things, the fear of getting ahead of myself that kept me from moving
Do not confuse the adrenaline of the jump with that of the quickened heart of unspoken love
Do not wield your words like cannons ready to fire at the first opportunity
Remember, that is the lesson you have learned

You asked about my past
I said, "Yes. I have known heartbreak, loneliness and loss, but I will do everything that I can so you do not."
And it was the truth
Well, the most important one