Is it under the editing of my face you do to fix all my flaws?
Is it under all the makeup I put on because you told me to?
Is it under all the weight you want me to lose?

Is it behind my tearful eyes when I hear all your criticism?
Is it behind all the stretch marks that cover my body?
Is it behind all of the forced positivity I have for myself?

Tell me where.
I want to know.

Because I cannot find in myself. Not for who I am.
Maybe in who you want me to be.