When I said I wanted to die,
I didn’t mean I wanted to die.
I don’t want to die.
I just want a way out.
I am lying on my bed
As if I am dead with my eyes open.
I don’t know how much time has passed.
All I can feel is the coldness
That is flowing from my eyes
To the ears, whispering to me to
Never get up, that I can’t get up.
I’m holding my heart like a balloon
And I’m walking through the garden of thorns
Fertilized by their words.
My fingers are a gun
That I use to exorcise the pain away
With the placebo bullets that leave scars on my arms.
I am here but
My mind is held hostage
In the prison built with
Their staring eyes.
So I am here lying lifeless,
Praying I would wake up soon.