one moment i'm on top of the world,
love filling my chest and
floating up my throat until all i can speak is poetry,
rose petal words twisting in the air in front of me,
swirling and twirling until they come to a rest at my feet,
and i think, "oh boy. what a time to be alive."
and then the next i've crash-landed,
my aircraft a mangled mess sitting beside me,
the tears pouring down my cheeks like i was made to cry.
these are the times when i realize i've pushed everyone
away away away
and i realize i've even lost the ones
i spent too much time deciding on.
it turns out they all move on eventually,
even when they promise to be your home.
i didn't even know i wanted you
until you left.