I sat on the tile of my bathroom floor
Like I have many times before
A safe place to be at my utmost vulnerable
And I just cried a bit.

I cried a bit, I let it all
Every ounce of it flash through my mind
And it was such a relief
To have you be kind and cool
And not read too deeply into my fears
My sensitivity.

You are young
You are lively
You speak in a high, energetic, impulsive way
I like it best when you worship me
I straighten my posture
I aim my eyes evenly
Sweating in and out of yoga poses
Grounding myself in my work
My friendships
My health.

I'm not sure what it is that you want
It's so much easier at the beginning
When I get to that drunken place
Where I speak in a lower pitch
Swaying a little bit back and forth
In my heels
My lips and eyes dark, mysterious
So cool, such a chill *****

But I can't be her all the time.

Side by side we played video games
I'm competitive
I think you probably are too.

I wasn't sure I'd end up liking you
Your skin buttery on top of mine
I feel clean and refreshed after you
Give yourself to me.
A first.

Sleep
It's time for sleep
To hit the pavement
Make money
And rest.