Tell me why I have to stare at every driver In every white SUV to see if it’s you I used to keep count of how many there were But I stopped at 152 It’s been 152 days since the first time I laid eyes on you WOW, jaw drops, time stops, did he say his name was Corey? Argyle socks, blue jacket, oh **** we made eye contact Butterflies. You gave me butterflies. And I knew from the second you muttered, “Ms. Yates” under your breath That I needed to know what it felt like under my skin. That’s where it all began.
I’ve heard that ‘feeling is healing’ But I’m wondering when the pain is going to cease And leave something hopeful in its place I’m not sure how much more I can take I’m tired I got tired of running stop lights chasing you To only be re-routed I doubted that you even knew I was behind you Apologies have to be a two-way street
It’s always my fault You are incapable of taking responsibility Letting jealousy take reign Of what little remains between us I used to count the hours until I got to see you Down a few beers to ease my nerves Change my shirt half a dozen times Thinking you were too good for me But you see, I was wrong I wish it wouldn’t have taken me so long To figure out that I’m not the bad guy I wish it wouldn’t have taken me so long To understand that selfishness and flattery Often look the same Too distracted by the butterflies to see That you ripped them from their cocoon too soon
I won’t miss wishing I was something that I’m not Making myself believe that I could be who you need I won’t miss you making me feel uncomfortable in my own skin As though my stretch marks and soft curves were not deserving of your affection I won’t miss the way you never answered my calls Leaving me guessing if you’re going to show Like some sort of twisted game that you always win
I stopped getting butterflies I stopped looking at the clock when we made plans I stopped checking my reflection for perfection in the mirror I stopped enjoying the tequila that you kept pouring when I told you I had enough I stopped enjoying you when you were no longer a safe place When I could no longer trust you When I could no longer believe the words coming out of your mouth
You do not deserve my sympathy You do not deserve my apologies You do not deserve the tears that I have cried because of you The sleepless nights wondering if you love me too The forgiveness that I have given so freely You do not deserve me
What doesn’t **** you only makes you stronger so Thank you for making me a stronger person For showing your true colors For proving to me that I deserve so much better For walking away when I was too selfish to do the right thing It began with butterflies and it ends with goodbye.