Your Eyelashes

once
we fought for so long
we fell alseep on
the same train bed
and once
i woke up
i couldn't
wind down
again
telly tubby bedsheets
shifted with my sighs
squirrels raced across the rooftop
scatter, slide and
scratch
at the door
because halen wanted in
but that ancient cat could wait
for i was drawn to trace
the milkweed bangs
and cheerio lips
choo-chooing there beside me
and when i did
kissing your cheek
felt like
smoothing a
butterfly band-aid
over where i
shoved you earlier
felt like
kissing a peach
no spice and shouts and
shhhh
i learned to count
past twenty that way
it'll cool off the rage
mama used to say
just take deep breaths and
count four handfuls worth of digits
so
in through my nose
out through my mouth
in the
nite-lite angel's glow
i numbered
the precious fringe
of tiny golden rainbows
archways to the world
swimming in your irises
in your dreams
and on my
fingers
i had to start
all over
each time your
eyelids
fluttered

you stirred
i learned
to call you
beautiful
in a special whispered way
beneath your
soft little arm
i tucked the lavender bunny
that had been our
tug of war

you can have it all,
buddy
just drift back to sleep
so maybe come morning
i'll know how
to count to thirty