I smile
And laugh
And talk
Along with everyone else

But inside
My head
Is churning
With thoughts
I know are not welcome

I hold it in
Try to shove it in a box
And throw it in the back of my head
Where I hope I can’t find it

But my wishes are ignored
And they come tumbling back
To the front of my mind
Where they whirl around

“Are you okay?” They ask
“I’m fine” I say

I’ll just try to hold it in
For a little while longer
Until I snap
And slowly disappear
From the life I used to live

I scream and shout and cry
Tired of thinking I am usesless
That no one cares

Trying to trick my self into thinking I don’t have depression
That those people I see in the pamphlets who look so hopless
Couldn’t be me

Maybe if I say that
“I’m fine”
Enough times
I will be okay