I've been on this earth such a very long time, 500 years have gone.
I've seen many Kings and Queens come and go, it's been so very long.

I have a disposition to culture human blood, lovely thick and warm.
One bite of an elegant ladies neck will stand me in good stead.
One litre of a royals blue blood will give me life, rise me from the dead.

By day I live in a wooden box, I like to call my bed.
It's lined with silk and fits me well from side to side and length as well.
I like my room to be cold not hot, I'm not too keen on fire.
One touch of that hot flame and my bed becomes a wooden pyre.

I lie in bed dreaming of what's to come, of the night ahead.
Who will I party with tonight, will they serve a pigs head upon an apple bed.

I'm not too keen on garlic, it makes me run away.
But I'm happy feasting on calves liver or maybe a lambs leg, a delicious beef steak, all of course must be served rare no other way will do.
Rare with lots of blood oozing on the plate.
Makes me very happy, makes me shiver and shake.

For cake perhaps Red Velvet with Blood Orange sauce, served with coffee in a cup and a dish of petit fours.

Most of all I hope some warm thick blood will be on offer.
I must get my fix before I head back to the safety of my wooden coffer.

If I'm lucky tonight will be carefree no one chasing after me.
Stakes and Crosses in their hand determined to banish me from their land.
For everyone knows to **** a Vampire a stake through the heart will do.
To be honest that would **** anyone, even the human called you.

So to finish my story I bid you farewell and hope our paths do not cross.
For that will surely mean that I nip your neck and then you will be no more.
Just another notch on my bedpost where I keep the score.