The moon was hidden,
And the sky was missing any sight of stars
Or a glimmer of hope, in this case.

Walking into the room with the anxiety of falling back in a chair, awaiting inevitable pain and wishing I had taken the time to be careful and avoid this.

I keep thinking it's wrong to hate seeing you with someone else,
And the way your face lights up at the thought of someone else,
How you get your haircut and clean your entire house for someone else.

And the lights that flash,
And the music that blasts
Can’t deafen me or blind me from the fact that
I can feel the lump in my throat wrap into a swift breeze of nausea when she wraps her arms around you and kisses you like I'm not there at all.

I told you she was so pretty because I wanted to be kind,
You might be more apt to love me more if I was kind right?

I settled in the back and drank all the drinks,
And took off my glasses in the hope that blurring the sights would make them not so real,
But alas, the pain was there and was real already.

Too much to dissipate with the removal of glasses,
Just staring at blurry black shadows and smiling a look of extra approval when you turned around.

And I can never let you know,
Because I'm not a selfish person like that.
It's called love, not possession,
So I’m having to love you from across the room, and possess only the overworked smile smacked across my face.

Because I don't want you to be unhappy,
I just wanted you to be happy with me,
Not somebody else.