You whispered sweet promises in my ear.
Told me that you loved me.
Said that it would be okay.
You were soft and gentle.
Your hands were rough but also soft,
And your eyes held a lust that I had never seen before,
But then I said “stop”.
And you froze for a minute.
Your eyes glared at me.
And you stopped whispering sweet nothings in my ear.
“You started this, you can’t just back out now”
I begged and squirmed and tried everything to get you away.
"No! Stop it!"
Your eyes held a cold glare,
And your hands lost their softness.
You pinned me down.
“You’ll love it in a minute”
But that minute came and went,
And I hated every moment of it.
I laid there limp.
I stopped fighting.
I just laid there because that’s all I could do.
And when you finished,
You kissed my cheek,
And told me you loved me,
But I knew it was a lie.
I laid there on that bed for hours.
Thinking of what a mistake I had made and
Thinking of how disappointed my family would be.
And when I finally worked up the courage to shower,
I scrubbed my skin so hard.
Hard enough that sometimes my skin bled,
And I had bruises from pushing so hard.
A week later you broke up with me.
Told me that the spark wasn’t there.
But not until you told everyone about that night.
Told everyone how easily I gave myself up for you.
I told myself I was fine.
That I would get over it.
But no matter how hard I try,
I can’t stop thinking about it.
Because you took something that wasn’t yours to take.
And now I flinch when people get to close.
Now I am scared to let anyone in my heart again.
Because you damaged me.
You said you loved me.
But if you loved me,
Then you would have stopped when I said
“NO!”