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Mar 2018
The worst nightmare
was never being paralyzed in the middle of my sleep
nor waking up with blood-stained bed sheet
in the middle of the night.

The worst nightmare goes like this - just tonight
I tried to fall asleep hoping it's quicker -
and perhaps easier than falling apart - than tears falling down my
        cheeks
But still wake up just to cry in memory of her.

I wanted to return from the start
when I wasn't too honest
I want her to realize
just how much she means to me.

I wished she knew the sacrifices I made
that sealed my fate
I wish she knows what punishment I await
because I did this for her sake.

I know you already like someone else
Yet despite this fact
And despite denying you to myself every single day
nothing hurts more than lying to myself knowing I can't stop these
          feelings for you.

The saddest thing is that could have been me
perhaps if I wasn't too honest and didn't put my chance on the line
But this is the way I love - the way the Lord taught me to love
Strengthen my resolve, and love with all my heart no matter the
          cost, no matter the risk, no matter the return, no matter the
          pain.

But more than anything else if I must receive spare change,
I wish she knows I love her...
I loved her
love her and
will always love her...
I have always love her and forevermore I will - no matter the cost,
          risk, pain, return - this is what binds me to God, the way He
          loves me and the way I love as He taught me.

Even if my love goes not reciprocated,
Honestly, it was when I met you that I guess I really started breathing

I have always love you and I always will because a world without you is a world not worth living.

I love you "Circle".
Nightmares
-Jean Lewis
Jean Lewis
Written by
Jean Lewis  19/M
(19/M)   
276
     Jean Lewis, --- and Meaura
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