I wanted to hurt her
Well, I wanted to make her feel what she had done to me
****** something precious of hers, as she had done me
Something small and insignificant
So that when she publicized her pain, no one would care
They’d say, it was just a trinket, not like it was valuable
But, oh, something worth so much to her and only her
Something that would make her understand just what she had stolen from me
Something that would give me a petty sense of victory, of evenness
I wanted what had gone around to come around,
So as she had sent pain to me, I thus sent pain to her.

I wanted to study her
See what was it about her that he desired
If not for brains, beauty, or heart
Then why did he hurt me for the sake of her?
I wanted to figure out why she was better than me in the eyes of so many
So I fixated on it without even trying and I learned more about her
And I think I understand now why he wanted to hurt me, for her sake;
I now know why I wasn’t good enough, why she was better than I was.