Building a barrier of breaths, a dam of determination
against anxiety rolling in waves across my chest- high tides,
threatening to flow out onto the sandy shores of my grainy cheeks.

You speak in slanted brows and stares and scowls:
tell me I’m giving up,
I’m giving in,
tell me I’m doing it wrong,
Take a step in my boots and tell me they don’t drag you down.
Wear my worries on your shoulders and tell me it doesn’t hurt.
Face an army of expectant faces and tell me you don’t have to choose.
Tell me you can have it all.
Lie to me, please.

High tides are rolling in again, and this time there might be flooding.
Letting the waves crash out in screams instead,
Letting you see the kind of loathing I have locked in,
Letting you feel a moment of that.

I’m giving in.