It’s not till you become an adult
That you reflect on the ******
Adults of your youth
Waiting on our dad in the car
As he attends his AA and court ordered Domestic Violence class
And he comes out and lights a cigarette and we have to wait another 5 minutes
He must’ve been mid 30s then

Or my aunt
She never worked
Had 13 cats, a hallway and
House full of stuff
We’d go by and there was a
Path to get to her bed
The rest was trash
Self help books and
A dozen or so roaches
Self helping themselves to
Her leftover Twinkies
She must’ve been in her
Early 40s then

Or my uncle
Who we’d tag along with
Cause he was a free babysitter
And he’d collect his unemployment check
Take out a little pipe and
**** on it and blow the smoke
Out the window
&
Look at the jobs that were
Offered to him
‘Oh **** that...’
He was fond of saying
I’m guessing he was in
His late 20s then
Never really holding down
Any job

And now I’m an adult
Working 70-75 hours a week
At a **** job
With a **** boss
And a **** ex
Who just ***** all over everything
I do
Maybe if I had beat my kids in a
Drunken stupor
Or allowed myself to be sad
To let the roaches in
Or was perpetually high all
The time
I’d have time for metaphors
But I don’t
I’m raw
My words are too

And I wonder what my young ones
Will say 30 years from now
When they’re adults...