The dark red liquid flows from my arms,
Covering the sink and floor.
Crying inside but not outside.
That I have just made another mistake.
As soon as the blade touched my skin and slid from side to side,
My gut clenched in a paralyzing fear.
“Now I think I understand how this world can over come a man.”
Whispered in my ear softly
My earbuds played a song that makes me regret everything.
“Not that I could, or that I would, Let it burn, under my skin, LET IT BURN”
I quickly changed the song,
The wet liquid dripping from my eyes.
Maybe it was meant to be,
Maybe I was supposed do it,
Maybe not,
Who knows,
Why do people do this,
My body trembles every second,
With every voice,
And every loud sound.
In another room somewhere else,
You can hear the silent screams of a little girl,
Her dreams are broken,
Her eyes are dull,
Her body covered in new and old cuts
She feels unwelcome.
She wants to be okay.
But she lets her depression control her.
Somewhere else,
A man in Japan hangs his self
Because he feels unwelcome.
He goes to the store,
Buys his gun and bullets,
And goes to the middle of a forest.
Says goodbye to everyone through his phone.
And writes a letter that reads,
“Dear Family,

I’m so sorry I had to put you through this. You don’t deserve it, but I do. I deserve to be dead. I deserve to not live. I’ve been through the good, the bad, and the evil, but through it all I have to say goodbye.

Love,
X”