My heart is so heavy, could you please carry it for me?

why is yours like sand always slipping through my shivering fingers?

I yearn to embrace it
tightly, but you won't let me.
I want to show your heart  how tenderness and kindness are maybe
not so frightening
But you,
won't even show me what it looks like.

Where have you gone?
you have been a stray for so long
you don't always have to pretend you are strong...

I'm not, strong.
but I'm stronger than you,
I can take care of you if you need me to.
yet  you can't even show me a fragment of your truths...

And,
I think I need proof.
that you're still here,
and that you're wanting to be in my
atmosphere.
because it really is not clear

if you want this or not

all the times that i fought...
for you
yes, always you.

Proof you know this word don't you?
that's the kind of thing you like facts,
numbers and straight lines.

When the word love slips clumsily from my lips into yours
it has a hollow taste,
it feels like a waste
maybe I love what you used to be
maybe that space is now empty.

There was a day where your lovely soul
got traded with one belonging  to  that of a paper doll's