My hollow bones and aching muscles have driven me to exhaustion.
These disgusting thoughts are overflowing my weary head.

I've become stuck in a daze.
My body has shifted gears into auto pilot.

I'm so tired I can not sleep,
and even when I can,
sleep forces it's nightmares upon me.
So famished I can no longer hold a meager meal
in my constantly shrinking stomach.
My rain cloud has come back,
and taken its place over me.

This burden of life has become too much for such a small person such as I to carry.

I don't know why the sickness has chosen me to victimize.
Why I've become subject to feelings of guilt and despondent thoughts.

A cry for help is not enough,
this theory has been tested and showed true each time.
Those pills won't help.
Shrinks don't help.
Not even my own medication,
a concoction of marijuana and a razor blade,
help.

There is nothing left to do.
Nothing else to try.
Nothing anyone can say.

No,
No rope you can cast is long enough
to pull me out of the pit of desperation and agony
I find myself in.

Nevertheless, I will smile.
I will act as though I am on your level of ground.
I'll push my food around my plate when I sit with you to eat
and I'll close my eyes when you check on me to see if i'm sleeping
because I would never forgive myself
for being the gravitational pull that lands you
in my pit.