**** it - this what I asked for ,
Now should I beg for more ?
Tell me ,as it consumes my core.
My brain been on a different level lately .
No more creative thoughts - they're all looking gloomy & dark .
Unsuspected ****** to my back - and the pain is so sharp .
I can't ever trust a soul - ain't no telling who's really here for me.
Me - being the main one everyone seems to call .
When their light vanishes - yet I'm the one rarely panicking.
It's my life - that's faker than a mannequin.
They say I should breathe - inhale deep & exhale a little slower .
I don't feel like anyone cares - why should I let this feeling roll over?
Now , why shouldn't I take my life ?
Living hasn't been feeling too right - maybe dying would be a little more nice.
I haven't even been smiling the same .
Who has the controller , to this ****** up game - it isn't fair .
So if death a little more equal - than **** it , I'm not even scared.
& when I'm in front of the devil , & god ask why'd you do it - I'll yell " **** it , **** - I'm already here"
No ,I'm not taunting no being - this is how I truthfully feel .
Numb to the world - I thought I'd be used to the pain .
This pain is like an eruption of fire , mixed into the clouds and the rain .
Then you're soaked in the heat - as poverty pulls at your feet .
Like a great battle that you're constantly losing - you try to retreat , and quicksand cease all of your moving.
I'm stuck with irrational thoughts , thinking , "I can't ****** do this".
Intelligently clueless, this mind is so crucial .