I can’t sleep,
Thinking of your face.
It keeps me up nights,
When my body aches
And all I want is
Sleep,
Escape.
I can’t sleep,
Thinking of you.
How we used to be.
How we fought,
And I’d be angry.
And I’d grit my
Teeth and swallow
The words like a bitter
Pill you have to take
In the mornings
But really don’t
Want to.
How I refused to
Hold your hand
Or talk or look at
You.
I can’t sleep,
Thinking of that.
Of how you’d gently
Pull apart my fist
And hold my hand in
Your big fingers.
How you would hold
Me even when I didn't
Want you to.
How our bodies fit
Together like mismatched
Puzzle pieces that
Really shouldn’t fit with
Anything at all,
But fit with each other
Somehow.
I can’t sleep,
Thinking of you.
How I hate myself
For missing us.
For wanting all
We had before,
All the madness
And anger and
Hurt.
But all the love
And happiness
And good-feeling
Stuff, too.
I miss that.
I miss you.