I don't think I can describe it, except by saying it "burns".
I don't mean it's a excruciating heat radiating from my body, cause by some out of body source, but from within.
I don't think I can breathe,
I don't think I can speak,
I don't think I don't think I can bare to be here much longer.
But yet, here I am.
Here I am with my arms crossed in-front of me and my face blank and eyes wide, lungs hollow, heart booming.
Here I am with the feeling of pulling a U-turn and driving home.
Here I am crawling back into my own skin trying to make sense of this mess.
But "I" don't even feel like "me".
I'm talking and driving and working,
but it feels like I'm not doing it.
Like I'm on auto pilot,
Like I'm on the outside looking in,
Like I'm possessed.
So I'm stuck, with this over-whelming burning sensation,
that feels like my chest is being ripped open,
with every fiber in my being screaming to go home.
But I don't.