Jan 2018
I've read your story a thousand times
I've blown through every chapter and I've savored every rhyme
And I have picked apart the meanings and I've looked for all the signs
But I only found myself in how your pen bled through the lines
I found myself in the accidental ink spots that seeped into the next page
And I was in the binding stained with coffee that smelled of lavender and sage
I found myself in the worn down corners of the paper from hands that couldn't help but touch
Because while the language is your master, I was just your crutch
I found myself in the scratched up vinyls you spin on repeat, I'm in the tense air their sound cuts through
They're old and skip around a bit, but still they'll play for you
It's in how your bedroom walls hold your truths and your pillow holds your lies
Your sheets hold my perfume while your ceiling holds our eyes
The nightstand holds my teacup, the Darjeeling you couldn't stand to touch
Because while it burned my hands to hold it, you said it was never hot enough
For you
You must have caressed my frame with your gaze a hundred times and with your hands a thousand more
I bet you could read this letter as often as you tried to kiss me
And still not know who I was writing for
You could find it on your bed, marked with my lipstick and bordered with lace
But you would still drop it to the floor and mutter, "That's nice but what a pretty face
You have"
I guess I can forgive you, but you'll need to forgive me too
For being someone who would rather be remembered for how she loved
Than for the love she made to you
While our stories will be written differently, our graves are all the same
Inside
But writers never die, my dear, so I swear I'll keep your name
Alive
I know you said I'm not the best with words, but I'll keep writing just in case
You come across my story and realize that you deserve a place
To stay
And I'm sorry every cup of tea I've ever made was cold and had no taste
But I would remake it every morning if it meant I would wake up to your face
Please stay
You're always welcome in my book
I've blown through every chapter and I've savored every rhyme
And I have picked apart the meanings and I've looked for all the signs
But I only found myself in how your pen bled through the lines
I found myself in the accidental ink spots that seeped into the next page
And I was in the binding stained with coffee that smelled of lavender and sage
I found myself in the worn down corners of the paper from hands that couldn't help but touch
Because while the language is your master, I was just your crutch
I found myself in the scratched up vinyls you spin on repeat, I'm in the tense air their sound cuts through
They're old and skip around a bit, but still they'll play for you
It's in how your bedroom walls hold your truths and your pillow holds your lies
Your sheets hold my perfume while your ceiling holds our eyes
The nightstand holds my teacup, the Darjeeling you couldn't stand to touch
Because while it burned my hands to hold it, you said it was never hot enough
For you
You must have caressed my frame with your gaze a hundred times and with your hands a thousand more
I bet you could read this letter as often as you tried to kiss me
And still not know who I was writing for
You could find it on your bed, marked with my lipstick and bordered with lace
But you would still drop it to the floor and mutter, "That's nice but what a pretty face
You have"
I guess I can forgive you, but you'll need to forgive me too
For being someone who would rather be remembered for how she loved
Than for the love she made to you
While our stories will be written differently, our graves are all the same
Inside
But writers never die, my dear, so I swear I'll keep your name
Alive
I know you said I'm not the best with words, but I'll keep writing just in case
You come across my story and realize that you deserve a place
To stay
And I'm sorry every cup of tea I've ever made was cold and had no taste
But I would remake it every morning if it meant I would wake up to your face
Please stay
You're always welcome in my book
