step one. let it hurt
step two. let it heal.
letting it hurt; driving with tears in your eyes, try and get lost in her eyes. Distract your pain in her presence and when you leave let yourself grieve. For what's broken takes time to find all the pieces, and what's lost can never be found. Ache for the lost and the homeless, the fever bound and the out of town horrors. Hide the pain well until you are alone... and if you should get into a worse spot let it be your home. Embrace your pain like the first love you've always had and let it hurt. Let it make you want to pick up your broken pieces and watch as you scramble to put it back together like you've wanted for years. Stitch it tightly and listen up. letting it heal is a process in which we all get down and pick at our suture but we can't tear it apart with a breakdown out of the blue. it will ache and quake in your chest as you try your best to let everyone around you see happiness. it radiates around you and you worry if the pain does too... they don't come around you like they used to. you've cut your strings to them and they go far, they meet new people and see new things and here you are... chained to every thought and memory of who you once were or who you thought you were. You pick yourself up and push through it all because you have her and getting better. that's what you plan to do, don't make it all for her make it for you too. for you suffering in silence when no one knew what had been found, another sliver of that piece in your chest. you've grown, you've conquered, you've built yourself up to be anything and everything you've dreamt up. so take this time to heal so when it's finally done... you can look at how far you've come and see how far you'll go with the one you know you want to heal with and grow with. Because she is your unknowingly strong rock, and she will never know how much she helps and hurts. Because you hurt the things you love the most but you help just by being close... she is yours and you are hers and together you will heal and grow and life with finally be something that is null and void of pain, you only see the positive pain. the type that builds you from the ground up and takes so much time to tear down and you never ever want it to happen you want to live again and make better things happen.  So what we've seen in a two step to making it hurt less is to first let it hurt like nothing has before then pick yourself up and let it heal, let yourself get better so you can intertwine and grow with her. ~m.a.g