This feeling.
Like a million butterflies circling around one
Rose.
A rose of love.
Or is it death?
I could never tell.
It doesn't matter,
I suppose.
As long as what's meant to happen,
Happens
Before anything prevents that from happening.

What is going to happen?
Will he forget me like a song forgotten?
Slowly starts as one forgets a verse here
And there.
And the next thing you know the melody is all you know
Until you don't even know that anymore.

Or will he remember me and return?
Like one would come back to their
Home.
Ol Home Sweet Home.
Where the heart resides.
As they say,
If you truly love someone,
Set them free.
If he returns,
He cares for me as much as I love all of him.
Even if he's never going to say that
4 letter word.
At least I'll know and have my peace.
A peace in this seemingly un-win-able war.
But,
If he doesn't,
I guess it was not meant to be.
Ouch.
I wonder if ones heart could take that without seizing up
And ripping it's own self apart.
That pain would be unbearable.
Unbearably painful enough to
Stop Death in his tracks
And make him question his own life.

What if he's different when he returns home?
Cold and calculated because
The Rules
Are all he knows and now he's forced to
Try to mold himself back into a world
He willingly left behind.
Stop.
"Don't think like that."
I try to tell myself,
But it isn't working
Because it true
And that's a pain I know all too well.
He's leaving this world behind.
The world I belong too.
So, if he leaving this world
Willingly
Wouldn't that men he's leaving me
Willingly?
Yes? Yes.
No? No.
Maybe? Maybe not.
I guess we'll have to wait and see.

To be continued..