i know you tried to commit suicide last year
we all knew
and i was there for you
actually
i was the only one there for you
we all went through things last year
and our conversations were like medicine to me
i know they helped you too
but it's not the same this year
i wish i knew why
suddenly you don't sit by me in classes
you ditch me for your boyfriend more than usual
and your new friend
your new "best friend" to be exact
the girl neither of us liked
and the girl who goes through her "best friends"
quicker than anything else
and she'll drop you too
i know she will
i think you know deep down too

you don't text or call
or even send streaks most nights
i'm sorry if i did something wrong
i really am
and i'd probably be really happy again
if you'd simply forgive me
but in all honesty
i know it wasn't my fault
and i wish it was
at least if it was my fault
there would be a possibility
that everything would go back to normal

but it can't
it never will
and i'm sorry that i'm not willing to let it
but if i was to let it
that would mean i'd be willing to get hurt again
and i'm not ready for that

i just wanted to let you know that
i know you and you boyfriend are having problems
i know you don't deserve that
but i also know that i don't deserve to hear it from him
instead of from the girl i was calling my best friend days ago
and no matter what
i just want you to know
that no matter what happens
i'll be there for you
and no
i'm not saying it will be like the good old days
because it won't
and i would never lie to you

i'm still coming to terms with the fact
that it will never be the same as it once was
but the difference between you and i
is that while you're busy breaking me
i'll be ready to pick up the pieces
next time you feel as worthless
as i do right now