i was a child of a broken home,
but my parents were never broken up.
i am a child of untreated mental illness and severe alcoholism,
mom & dad riddled with the fear of growing up,
still blaming their parents for how they turned out.
& i saw the cycle repeated when my siblings grew unsuccessful
"it's not me, it's how my roots were planted twisted,
the death of a sister at a young age really makes a family fall apart.
it's not me, it's how my father didn't care. i just wanted
to be approved of.
i just wanted to be cared for,
but i am the way i am because my mother taught me to
be intoxicated instead of face my problems."

my siblings live in fear of becoming like my parents,
but they never take charge to alter the cycle

I grew with abuse to my mind and body,
and all i can do now is
heal myself and run far away

i am no longer my past,
the place i come from will have nothing to do
with who i become.