"I'm an Alabamian
And proud to be one, too.
Nobody is going to tell me
What to say or do.
So, when it comes to voting,
I have got one rule:
Since I'm a Republican
And no, I'm no one's fool,
And also since the candidates
All have different aims,
I'll vote only for the ones
With R's next to their names.

"I don't care if you’re a cad;
You will toe the line
If your thoughts on God and guns
Correspond to mine.
You can be knocked off the bench
And thumb your nose at laws.
I don't know what you could do
That would give me pause.
Stealing from your charity?
Even that's fair game.
I will vote for you 'cause there's
An R next to your name.

"I don't care what you have done
In your cloudy past.
I don't care how many accu-
Sations you've amassed.
How you've treated women, well,
That is just your style.
I don't even care if you
Were once a *******,
Or if you blasted Muslims or
Transgenders with no shame,
You will get my vote 'cause there's
An R next to your name."

-by Bob B (11-18-17)