wear watches without a battery
because the days can’t tick if the arms don’t move
nothing really has to move
in fact, it was all just a figment of our imagination

on this day i got out of bed
and i saw a dead person
i shut my eyes because it wasn’t real
none of this was ever real

tell me how to stop forcing myself to feel something
tell me why i must pretend to make it mean something

tell me about how the number thirteen always meant something special
tell me about how the number thirteen made you feel something

how do i tell Him that i don’t believe in him
but that i believe in you
how do i tell you that i don’t remember the sound of your voice

from he was a good man
to he was Probably a good man
you aren’t a god
He isn’t even a god
who is the real god here?
how unfortunate it must be
living in two worlds at once

i’ll let grandma know about my conversations with god

blink hospital room
blink grandma’s screaming
blink pray and everything will be okay
blink

i don’t remember the first day

blink burgundy rug
blink mama’s screaming
blink first grade teacher
blink standing over your grave
blink

i don’t remember the last day