I propel the mallet through the air
To land bluntly on my hand
But still I feel no freeing pain
And I continue to be ******
To a world of expired meaning
And a body where I cannot feel
So I search for my forgotten drive
By drawing blood and skipping meals

At times it becomes too much to bear
The weight of bearing nothing
So I shield myself from expecting hearts
And turn to the one thing loving
A silver knife with a glistening grin
“I’m always here if you need me”
And once again I propel the blade
And finally find feeling