its 1 am on a school night and i find myself walking-scratch- that sobbing while walking back from campus
usually i would be so anxious walking  home but honestly i was to distraught this day i wished something happened so for a split second i could forget about everything

but unfortunately for me i made it back
still sobbing i may add as I'm sitting on the toilet with my dollar store razor to my wrist

being the ***** that i am i didn't do it but i wonder if the blood dripping out of my body would hurt more than the words that were

said to me that made me hate every single thing about me
almost a year later i come to find out that pinching is a form of self harm

and the marks on my arm eventually fade but the memories i hold will last forever

stranger things used electroconluvsion therapy
but i find it even stranger that i would use that on myself

now it's almost December
and the hands i used against myself
i now turn into beauty on pen and paper
and the blood is still running through my veins
reminding me why i get up every morning
and the voice that was too afraid to stand up for her self
is now used to help others

So *******, and you, and you, and yes even you too
for giving me the worst day of my life
but thank you for showing me
that I deserve better