There is no else in this world that I wish I had a better relationship with
and I don’t think I will ever get over
how you let things turn out
Finding new ways
to hurt me in the process

When I look back
I realize you decided our fate
when we were just kids
and I didn’t understand then
That you were someone
who allowed yourself to disrespect
the person you were expected to protect

I was never like you
and maybe that threatened you
but I cannot accept that
as a reason to make me feel anxious
to be in my home
scared of what’s to come
into a downward spiral of dysfunction and trauma

Now that I’m not under the same roof
sometimes I find myself
being able to appreciate our time
Try a little harder to connect
But you always find new ways
to sabotage our progress
and burn your bridges one by one

The thing is
you are not someone I can simply cut out
We are bonded by the strongest kind of human connection
We are lumped together in the eyes of family
You will always be a part of me in a way no one else will
and that’s why it hurts so much

I’m tired
and I just want a sister
Who sees me for me
Understands me for me
Respects me for me
and loves me for me